Thoughts that go through your head when you take a bath drunk.

February 26, 2015

A good friend of mine has off from work on the most awkward days of the week (Wednesday and Thursday). It was long since due that we had a few drinks and aired some dirty laundry, so we said eff it, Wednesday it is. Now, another fact you should know is that I haven’t drank more than a few sips of wine since July because of a motorcycle accident. So where normally three mojitos would just give me a small buzz, I ended up really feeling it immediately after she left.

And what’s the first thing you do when you come home drunk on a Wednesday? (or at least what my drunk self thought I should do)…Take a BATH.ย Here are the thoughts that went through my head while taking a bath drunk.

  1. You need to take a super, relaxing bath to mellow out your current tequila buzz.
  2. LAVENDER BUDS! USE ALL THE LAVENDER BUDS!
  3. Ok this is too many lavender buds. Whatever, YOLO.
  4. I need candles, lots of candles. *lights candles, burns finger tips in the process*
  5. This water is scalding hot, but I don’t care. Feelz goooood.
  6. *falls asleep for about 17 minutes*
  7. Am I sweating or is this bath moisture on my face?
  8. Oh god, I didn’t take my makeup off. I dare not look at my face.
  9. *looks in mirror* OH GOD WHAT AM I.
  10. *watches YouTube for about an hour*
  11. *gets out to dry off, covered in Lavender Buds*
  12. Oh, gross. Just, gross.
  13. *starts drying off and in the process, flinging lavender buds EVERYWHERE, all over the white bathroom*
  14. I’m gonna play Zelda for a little zzzzzzzzzzzz……
  15. *wakes up two hours later, completely awake and sober as a judge*
  16. BATHS ARE MAGIC.

So, anywhere. Moral of the story, be careful taking baths while drunk, kids. Disclaimer: blow out all candles and rinse all the lavender buds out of the tub so you don’t have to pretend to be sleeping the next morning while you listen to your boyfriend huff and puff at the discovery of 1,000 lavender buds stuck to the tub when he has to shower. Love you, baaaaaaabe.

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